Numb
by quick132
Summary: His heart broke for her as she said "I can't let myself feel anything anymore." Quick one-shot. Spoilers from Funeral.


If you didn't see Funeral, please don't read on! Spoiler Alert!

I know I have my longer fic to write, but I have a mild case of writer's block. And I just felt the need to write this after I saw Funeral.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (Wish I did...)

Enjoy!

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><p>Puck looked up into the sky feeling quite sad. He'd never seen Sue Sylvester cry before, he was pretty sure no one had. He ran his hand over his mohawk thinking about what he would do if his sister died. He quickly shook these thoughts, not wanting to feel any worse than he already did. Suddenly a flash of blonde and red flew past him. Quinn Fabray ran past and he could have sworn he heard a sob or a sniffle. Puck instinctively took a step towards her, but a hand gripped his arm, pulling him back.<p>

"Puckerman, let's go," Lauren said, pulling him towards her car.

"I can't," he whispered as he watched Quinn disappear behind the back of the building, "I gotta do something."

Lauren narrowed her eyes at him and followed his line of vision towards the now hidden Quinn. "Who's back there?"

Puck forced his eyes to look into Lauren's. "No one."

She released his arm and put her hands on her hips. "Let me guess. Barbie?"

"Quinn," he corrected without even thinking.

Puck broke eye contact with Lauren. She was staring deeply into his eyes, too deeply for his liking. Lauren let out a huff of disbelief. "Is Little Miss Perfect sad? "

He didn't answer. He continued to gaze at where Quinn disappeared. "Wow," she said, shaking her head.

"What?" he asked as he was broken out of his little daze.

"You're still in love with her, aren't you?" Lauren tested.

Puck forced out a nervous laugh. "Of course not," he mumbled.

He looked back at Lauren, unsure if she believed him. He wasn't even sure if he believed himself. "Liar," she spat.

"I just wanna go talk to her," he pleaded.

Lauren pointed a finger in his face. "If you go chat it up with Barbie, we're done."

Puck looked back and forth between the back of the building and Lauren's finger. "I-I'm sorry."

He turned and followed Quinn's path and heard Lauren shout behind him. "You'll regret this, Puckerman!"

Puck couldn't help but think that that statement was beyond false. His heart was pounding when he turned the corner behind the building. Puck's heart beat right out of his chest when he saw the beautiful blonde sitting on the curb. His heart damn near shattered when he heard her sob and saw her shoulders shake.

He took a step towards her and Quinn looked up at him. Her eyes were puffy and her makeup was smeared. Puck still couldn't think of a more beautiful girl.

She watched as he sat down on the curb next to her, thighs touching. Her cries faltered as she gazed into his face searchingly. Puck placed his hand on her back and Quinn's sobs resumed at his touch. She buried her face in her hand and turned her face away from him. "I'm fine," sputtered, still not facing him.

"What happened?" he asked ignoring her.

Quinn turned her face towards him but gazed on the gravel ground. She took a couple large gasps as she caught her breath and stopped the tears from flowing. "He broke up with me," she responded calmly.

"What?" nearly shouted at her.

Quinn nodded. "Why?" he asked.

Puck saw tears begin to form in her eyes again, clumping her eyelashes into small triangles. "He's still in love with Rachel."

Puck sighed and leaned back, resting his weight on his arms behind him. "I'm sorry, Quinn."

She stared at his mohawk then into his eyes. "But you aren't surprised, are you?"

Puck raked his mind for a perfect lie to give to her. But for some reason, he found it impossible to lie to this particular girl. "No, I'm not."

Quinn broke his gaze and she stared straight ahead. Puck looked at her profile. His eyes traveled down the length of her perfect nose and mouth. He had long memorized the shape and beauty of her flawless features. Her voice snapped him out of his staring. "He doesn't understand," she said.

"Finn?" he asked, uncertain as to what exactly Finn didn't understand.

She took so long to respond, Puck didn't even know if she heard his question. "Yes," she said simply.

Puck was hesitant to ask his next question, "What doesn't he get?"

"He thinks I don't feel anymore."

Puck scratched his mohawk, confused. "Feel what?"

"Anything. He said 'don't you feel anything anymore?'." Puck could see the hurt in her eyes as she repeated Finn's words.

"Well-"he said, before being interrupted.

"He doesn't understand," Quinn said, her voice breaking as tears began to form in her eyes again. "I can't feel anything anymore."

Puck felt a crease form between his brows. "Quinn-"

"I can't let myself," she exclaimed, tears freely flowing now, "If I let myself feel everything, I don't think I could ever myself get out of bed."

He knew he was venturing into dangerous waters as he touched her arm gently and almost whispered, "Quinn, you can let yourself feel."

"No!" she shouted, tearing her arm away from him. "Puck, I can't!"

Quinn was back to hysterically crying when she wrapped her arms around her stomach and leaned forward, resting her head on her knees. Puck rubbed her back in slow circles, unsure of what to say or do. She sat up straight after a few minutes. Her face was completely blotchy and tear stained. Quinn wiped her eyes and took in a large gulp of air. "I feel too much. Last year with everything…" she trailed off, sobs beginning again.

Puck took a sharp breath, he wasn't prepared for this. "Last year?" he inched closer to her.

"I miss her so much," Quinn sobbed and looked into his eyes.

Puck looked back into hers and felt tears well up in his. She looked so pained. He reached out and gently stroked her cheek. "I do too, Quinn."

She cupped her hand over his larger hand. "And you."

"Me?"

"I miss you, too. So much. You were right," she smiled a watery smile at him.

Puck let out a forced laugh. "Me? Right? Yeah right."

Quinn also released a small laugh and nodded. "We would have made a wonderful family."

Puck couldn't hold back anymore. His eyes couldn't force back the flow of tears. He let his tears fall freely, matched with hers for a few seconds. Quickly, he regained his composure and felt her forehead press against his. He closed his eyes and felt her breath against his lips. "I have to numb myself. It's the only way to make it through the day without thinking about you and without thinking about Beth," she whispered.

"Do you regret giving her up?" he asked in a hushed tone, terrified of the answer either way.

Puck felt her head lightly tap his as she nodded slowly. "Yes."

He took a deep breath. "You don't have to numb yourself, Quinn. We can do this, together."

Quinn pulled back from him, gazing into his eyes. "Did you mean what you said in the hospital?"

Puck didn't break her stare, but looked right back into her eyes. He thought back to the nursery and the words he would never regret: _Yes, especially now._ "Yes."

Her lips formed a smile, the first real smile he had seen her wear in a very long time. "I loved you then, too," she said, eyes falling onto his lips for a moment, "I still do."

Puck smiled back at her. "I love you."

He grinned even wider as she gently placed her hands on his cheeks and met her lips with his. Quinn pulled back momentarily and bit her lip. "God I missed that lip bit," he said, stroking her lip with his finger.

"God I missed you," Quinn replied with a small giggle.

They leaned into each other again and Puck felt overwhelmed with happiness as he felt Quinn smile against his own smile.


End file.
